Charles. A. Contemplative.

It’s easy to be mesmerized by the life of a monk who, in total devotion to God, leaves everything that this physical world offers to take up an ascetic life in the desert. For me, reading through his story has been a journey that queried thoughts of doubt about what really happened in Antony’s life. The severe self-discipline and asceticism he practiced resulted in a spiritual transformation that determines my own spiritual disciplines to be diminutive, lacking, and spiritually immature. Nonetheless, his life is inspiring and I desire to implement some of his methods into my own, beginning with how he formed his own disciplines. Athanasius records that Antony began by searching out and imitating an old man who lived a solitary life in a nearby town. “Antony wanted more than anything to imitate this man’s godliness.” (3) After he began to seek out individuals whom he admired for their devotion to God, he developed an insatiable desire to seek out more monks who lived an ascetic life. “He obeyed everyone whom he visited. Eager to learn, he assimilated their various individual gifts. He imitated the self-restraint of one, the nocturnal devotions of another, and the dedication in reading of yet another. He admired one who fasted and another who slept on the bare ground, praising the endurance of the former and the compassion of the latter.” (4) 

My professional journey has afforded me the ability to learn from many leaders who exhibited spiritual disciplines that led them in a close walk with Jesus. Sometimes I wasted my time with them and I did not, as Antony did, imitate their godliness. However, by God’s grace I still remember how they lived, and I still have the time and space to implement some of the disciplines that I observed. 

A discipline to which Antony devoted his life, which has also been modeled for me by modern spiritual shepherds, is the practice of contemplative prayer. It has transformed my perspective of being with God, and has inspired me to pursue a soul that is unmoved by trouble, and spiritual darkness. Instead, through the practice of contemplative prayer, I am able to enter into a posture of listening to silence. The silence that my soul craves; and the silence into which the spirit of God speaks. My journey into the practice of contemplative prayer is only a few years old, but my soul is many years matured because of it. 

Antony began his ascetic journey at 18 years old, when both his parents died and he was left to care for his younger sister, and his family estate. My journey began at 34 years old, when I realized that I was not experiencing the deeper life that I read about from the ancient followers in the way of Jesus. I want my remaining days to imitate those around me who model a life transformed by the way of Jesus. 

Charles. A. Contemplative.

The Life of Antony of Egypt, by Athanasius; Paraclete Press, Inc., 2010